New Day - A New Year?

On the last day of the year, most people are thinking of their New Year's resolutions and the year ahead. But, how many choose to reflect on this year without an unrealistic expectation of what's in store next year. Naturally, a new year brings about the opportunity for change, however, shouldn't it be something you try to do everyday not just at the change of the year? There are people who say that in the new year, they will start to work out, be organized, go do something good for the community, which is perfectly fine, but we should be reminded to do these things everyday not next year or tomorrow, but today. That's why I choose to say "Happy New Day" - may every day be as good as the one before and next...

Regifting Ideas for 2005

We all give and receive gifts. There are some though that you know you can do without. But, nobody will know that you gift is a regift. Just be sure to repack it in some nice wrapping.

1) A Bag of Pistachios

2) Can of Caramel Popcorn

3) Fruitcake

4) A can of chocolate pretzels

5) Box of guest hand soaps

6) A trivet

7) Napkin rings

8) Silver bottle stoppers - they are terrible things to use on a good bottle of wine

9) Glass candy bowls

10) Napkin holders

Gift Ideas for Bloggers from Dahlia

This Christmas Season, I've decided to share a little something with my fellow bloggers. While giving presents would certainly be great, I think this would be even better. 5 gift ideas and stocking stuffers for bloggers:

1) Herman Miller Aeron Chairs

I call these the Grand Piano of Chairs. These are just about the most comfortable chairs around. If you are petite, they have a size just for us dwarflings. I can sit in this chair for 8 hours straight. Okay, maybe not 'cuz I'd have to eat and go to the bathroom. If you can afford one or find one at a discount, this is the chair to buy. Prices vary anywhere from $200 and upwards of $2000.

2) Pillowstep MicroTerry Clog from Isotoner

I don't have a foot fetish. Honestly, I don't, but this slipper is so comfortable - your feet or your wife's feet will be very happy. Price $18

3) Terra Frites
Every blogger has to have some munchies and this is the one I crave all the time. They may not be available at all groceries, but you may be able to find them at places similar to Whole Foods or Wild Oats. IF you're looking for low sodium and "healthier" snacks, this may not be to your liking; however, Terra Chips also offers other snacks made with olive oil.

4) Phone Head Sets

When I blog, sometimes I get a call. Avoid a stiff neck and get a head set! Price vary, but if you're looking for something comfortable, try the one from Plantronics.

5) Watch a good movie or get gift certificates to a movie

Okay. I know blogging is fun, but a good movie is also a great way to get out and spend time with family and friends. This December I hope to watch the movie: Syriana. Before you head out, I suggest going to the movie review site of "Rotten Tomatoes".

It's Friday!

I know I'm goofing off right now, but head is on Friday mode already.

Your Blog Should Be Yellow

You're a cheerful, upbeat blogger who tends to make everyone laugh. You are a great storyteller, and the first to post the latest funny link. You're also friendly and welcoming to everyone who comments on your blog.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

Perflebrity - Holiday Gift #1?

A celebrity in a bottle? Lately, more and more celebrities are rushing to come up with their own brand of parfum as wear a celebrity scent is the latest trend. Whether its a Britney Spears fragrance called "Curios", Spirit from Antonio Banderas, or "Lovely" from Sarah Jessica Parker, "Still" by Jennifer Lopez. The list goes on and on and the "perflebrity" race continues. Many people wear perfume for various reasons ranging from its allure to its magical ability to make one feel like a star. But, do consumers really want to "wear" a perfume that embodies the image of a successful icon or celebrity? And with the holiday/Christmas season upon us, do you really want to have a celebrity perfume bottle as a gift?

What season do you call it?

I was at the mall the other day and stumbled into a Hallmark shop to browse for cards. Like most people, I have come to associate December with the word "Christmas", but this year, it seems like I don't know what to say to people when you have so many varied forms of greeting people. You have probably heard of it all, but is it about finding the most politically correct phrase to use or do you just say what comes to the mind naturally. Quite frankly, I used to think "Merry Christmas" was fine, however, nowadays, you hear "Happy Holidays", "Season's Greetings", and other greetings which really don't give much definition and meaning. What do you think? What kind of "card" can encompass all of that? Would it be so offensive if you used the word "Christmas"?

Holiday Breakups

Lately, I've been hearing news stories of countless celebrity breakups from the divorce of Christina Applegate to the calling off the wedding of Nicole Ritchie. For what may seem like a trend is just normal by all standards for just as many people breakup, the same might be said as to the number of people who get engaged during the holidays. Is it the allure and romance associated with the holidays that gets people all crazy? Perhaps it is the romantic sentiment, the snow, and the spirit of giving that might explain things.

When you love someone - set them free?

When you love someone, you do anything to make sure that they are safe and protected. Whether your are mother, father, husband, or wife, there will always be somebody that you would want to ensure is safe. But, when do you draw the line in sheltering a person from the harsh realities of the world. For instance, as a mother, how do you raise your kids so that they learn to defend themselves from the insulting officemate or class bully? While we all want to protect the people we love, I find that one of the challenges to raising kids is knowing when to let go. We all want to raise children that are polite and courteous, however, do parents come short when teaching kids how to be assertive? Is assertiveness something that you just learn from everyday life? Do you assert yourself all the time or do you have to pick when to be assertive?

Split up - official

This Thanksgiving I heard that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are separating. While I know that they are really young and just got married less than 2 years ago, this is another example of how many people rush into marriage. It is really indicative of our times. If only people would learn.

What it means to be unique?

In less than 2 days, Thanksgiving will be here, which only signals the coming of the holiday season. This means hitting the retail pavement in search of presents for friends and relatives, etc. Like many people, I want to find gifts that are unique - whether it is handmade or not just as long as it has some unique quality that shows some careful thought was placed into its purchase. Yes, it is idealistic, but this is where the problem lies. Now more than ever, the word "unique" has been so overused by retailers alike that the consumer is often left with so-called "unique" choices that are really much the same. Isn't unique defined by being one of a kind? Because "unique" is no longer "unique" - the word itself has become trite. With this mind, this coming holiday season, I've decided to gather your ideas on what defines a unique gift, especially if it is for a special person in one's life like a parent or spouse. Your ideas are welcomed!

Got me thinking

Is there really such a thing as soul mate? There are some people who marry; believing that the person they are with is their soul mate. This is the individual they have been waiting for their whole life. One that seems to be yin in the yang. But, is it really possible?

Kidnapped, Shot, and Getting Hitched

We usually hear of victims, that have have been kidnapped and shot, who forgive their captors, but rarely do we find one that has decided to marry their captors. Bizarre, but true. In what appears to be an odd mix between forgiveness, love, and a dose of Stockholm Syndrome. Tina Marie Stebbins has decided to marry her longtime boyfried - Christian Leroy Lindblad who had previously shot her and threatened her kids. While little is revealed in the news about the exact circumstances about why he shot her in the first place, don't you think love has its limits particularly in these kind of situations? Isn't there some form of resentment that comes about?

From Princess to Miss - A Royal to Commoner Wedding

Every once in a while, you hear a story of a commoner marrying into royalty. We look to England for the tumultuous marriage of Princess Di and Princess Charles, and then we hop on down to Spain for the not to distant and extravagant wedding of Prince Felipe and Letizia Ortiz Rocasolano, and then up to Denmark where Prince Frederik nearly two years ago married Australian-born Mary Elizabeth Donaldson. We all know that commoners marrying into royalty gain significant rewards. One of them obviously is the attainment or assignment of an official title - that being “princess” most of the time. But, how often do we hear of a member of the royalty marrying a commoner and losing their title? Not very often. The last time I read about such stories was when King Edward VIII married American, Wallis Simpson back in 1937 – giving up his title and duties as king. Today we find a similar story, but not one as drastic as King Edward VIII who left his title of King. Princess Sayako of Japan marries a commoner and will be joining the rank of the commoner soon. Besides giving up her title, she will have to "adjust" to a new way of life. Maybe even some cultural shock? Hmm. I guess this means she will to do ordinary things like grocery shopping and driving a car. Yet, with a $1.2M dowry from the state, that ain't too shabby, either! Yeah, it sounds romantic when a prince or princess marries a commoner for love, but c'mon how bad could it be marrying into royalty and having all of those responsibilities like attending charity teas and soirees. I wonder what it would be like? Can you imagine that?

From BBC website:



Technorati tags: Wedding - Marriage - Royalty


** I learned about these nifty Technorati Tags from Bill's blog at Code, Code World.

Wedding Fete

In ancient China, foot binding used to be customary for women of wealth and nobility – many years before getting married. It is a painful process of binding the feet in order to stop it from growing. The typical age for foot binding began as early as 4 or 5. Popular during the Tang Dynasty, the practice was believed to have been inspired by the beauty and glamour associated with concubines that performed for the emperor. Large footed women were considered ugly and often poor because only the rich could afford foot binding. Being petite footed allowed women to wear dainty narrow shoes – not for walking, but entirely for aesthetic reasons, since these women often could not walk on their own anymore. Many of these women’s feet only grew to about 4 inches at the most. If you take a look at some examples of these shoes, it’s quite uncanny at how their “pointedness” resembles many wedding shoes and even ordinary fashion footwear in modern times. See what I mean:



These pointy tipped shoes are typically so thin on the front of the shoe that it takes an extraordinary individual with super narrow and thin feet to be able to fit into these shoes. While pointy shoes have certainly passed that of having to bind one’s feet, they still remain entirely impractical for most women.

Ancient China – an example from Frank H. McClung Museum · University of Tennessee - exhibit on foot binding

Big Bird wouldn't be Happy

I was watching the Discovery Channel's documentary on Bird Flu. Boy, that freaked me out. While I don't want to be an alarmist, this disease is really really serious.

If you watched the show, what was most bothersome was seeing street vendors slaughter live chickens in an open market. When you live in the US, you never see things like that because when we buy chicken they come in nicely packaged containers. The only thing we have to worry about is cooking the damn thing thoroughly and cleaning up afterwards, which is hardly difficult except when wiping the counter with lysol to prevent salmonella. Since it is only a matter of time when the disease hits the US, I'm a bit disturbed that there is no massive effort to prevent the disease from hitting pandemic levels. I can't imagine how families will deal with this disease if one had to choose between saving a spouse, child, or parent, since drugs and vaccines are in such short supply. All in all, this has really made me question whether I'd still eat chicken! I would certainly have second thoughts about eating it at a party or wedding, or any other gathering.



Get the facts on bird flu at:

CDC information

If you want to watch the program on Discovery Channel, here are the showtimes:

TP

I had a great conversation with my doctor the other day. Nope. It wasn't about my health - ironically. But, it was about the tackiest products currently available on the wedding market. Since my doctor recently got engaged, she told me that while looking around the web for some reception items, the funniest and tackiest item she came across was wedding guest toilet paper. Who would've thought that they would be a hit, but somebody out there is laughing all the way to the bank?

Campaign for Happiness

Somewhere on a daily basis, there is a campaign always going on. Whether it is a campaign for peace, a campaign against AIDS, a campaign for war, a campaign against war, or a campaign to fight breast cancer. While every campaign focuses on fighting for something, why not have a campaign purely for happiness. After all, there is always something to be happy about! So today, I, me, myself. I am starting the campaign for happiness with my new little graphic. Feel free to grab it and spread happiness - just for the sake of it!

Awkard times

When couples decide to split up, separate, or divorce, there is usually a friend or relative to turn to when things go wrong. This is only natural, of course. But, as a friend or relative, how is one to feel if you find out one day that your closest friend, sister, or cousin has decided to split up, but only for them to get back together again? At first, you'd think that the split would be a positive thing for them, but how are you supposed to feel if you find out that they have decided NOT to split up anymore. I believe it becomes a personal experience for oneself when you support a person through an emotionally difficult experience whether negative or positive. Just as you'd be happy for somebody just about to get married at their wedding, the same can probably be said in a divorce. You'd feel worried for them as you help a friend or relative cope through a tough time. Nevertheless, I still don't know what to say to one of my friends who recently said they were divorcing and are now getting back together. What do you say when you get together for Thanksgiving? It will surely be an awkward feeling...What are you supposed to say?

Rude or just normal?

Every culture has its own idiosyncrasies from the way people converse to the manner by which people communicate. During my two-week hiatus, one of the interesting events that I had attended was that of my former schoolmate who was to get married in a Cantonese/American style wedding in Hong Kong. The wedding was obviously beautiful, but I was struck at the unique way the Cantonese communicated and interacted. From the point of view of an outsider such as an American, the Cantonese may appear to be rude while talking, but in reality, this is the normal way of conversing with each other. While I clearly don’t understand their culture let alone language, I just found it equally amusing to see a commercial – a government sponsored one that encourages their people on how to be courteous and polite in certain situations such as how to best communicate to the driver when getting off a bus. Nevertheless, the city of Hong Kong is a great place for eating and of course, shopping. You get the best deals on clothes and restaurants are open until late at night! Hong Kong is really a great eating and shopping destination.

I'm back - where was I?

Okay. Why the two week hiatus? A much needed vacation. A break from the insanity. A good time spent with close friends. Meanwhile, trying to get over jet lag.

Return to sender

If you were to get divorced or separated, would you return an heirloom given to you by your ex-husband's mother,that she had given to you during your enagagement?

Too important not to pass

Death or a near death experience has a strange way of really waking you up to realizing what's important in life - even if it's a pet. My bestfriend's dog (i.e., her Dalmatian) almost died this Sunday because of a condition known as bloating. We didn't know that a bad case of gas can cause a dog to die. Her dog was lucky that the vet arrived in time to bring the dog to the hospital to have the stomach decompressed. For anyone with a dog, this condition is considered one of the worst emergencies because a dog can die within minutes. It is a painful way for anyone to die. While I usually talk about weddings and marriage, I can't ignor this incident because it was just so painful to see my bestfriend lose her dog.

Blooming and Pregnant

I was watching Oprah the other day and Sarah Jessica Parker was their guest. Most notable about the interview were two things:

1) She has banned the word "fat" at home and

2) She misses the "birthing" experience.

While using the word "fat" is certainly wrong and there are other words that can be substituted, I found the latter part of missing the "birthing" experience as being quite odd. I mean we all know, I mean women for that matter know that having a baby (literally) is not something you want to miss. We can miss the experience of being a "beautiful bride" or that of "blooming woman (i.e., pregnant), but I don't think that missing labor pains comes up on my list. Then again, every woman is different, and we each have our unique experiences.

Meet the Parents

If you have ever watched the movie "Meet the Parents", then anyone faced with in-laws knows exactly how funny this movie is. For the most part, I've been busy lately meeting up with my husband family. While my current life may not be a real-life version of the movie, this movie certainly brings a lot of laughs and I just never get tired of the movie.

Off to Paris

Okay, the wedding has been called off. Paris is no longer getting married to the Greek son of a shipping magnate. For whatever reasons they may have for cancelling their wedding, you can bet that Paris will continue to surprise us.

Anna Nicole

The US judicial system has reached new heights as the US Supreme Court agrees to hear the case of Anna Nicole's inheritance disupute. As the widower of a former 90 year old oil tycoon, her ongoing legal dispute with the son of her now deceased husband certainly brings new meaning to the phrase "legally blonde". It would be really interesting to see how the case is eventually handled - that is from a legal perspective.

A little tidbit: at the age of 26, after she had married J. Howard Marshall in an equally fast wedding, Anna ran off with her bodyguard and honeymooed in Greece with him (i.e., bodyguard - Pierre de Jean).


On a side note:

It's been a crappy week. When buying tickets from a travel agent you found on the web, always be sure to ask about cancellation policies. Some will charge you a cancellation fee even without authorizing a credit card charge yet.

Sealed with a Kiss

When traveling in a foreign country, you never know what can happen with a simple “public display of affection.” Take an Israeli couple that got married in Pushkar, India. The unknowing couple was fined for kissing and hugging during the ceremony. Perhaps they should have gotten married in Paris.

Empire Strikes Back

Whoever designed the empire cut gown must have been obsessed with the “maternity look.” Popular during the Jane Austen’s time (i.e., Regency Era), the empire cut gown fitted what was considered as being beautiful (i.e., plump). These high-waisted gowns often had very low necklines, so low that a woman’s bosoms would be bursting out like tulips. From party dresses to wedding gowns, these supposedly “natural-fitting” dresses had to be designed by men – no doubt. If you’ve seen any Jane Austen movie, you know what I’m talking about, but if not, this great site has a lot of good pictures and historical information.

I'd rather be...

Browsing at an electronics store with husband = boring. This is especially true when we're at the computer store. With so many coffee stands propping up in bookstores, why don't they have them in computer stores like Comp USA wherein you can get a latte, read a magazine, watch TV, surf the web, or blog. It would be a much better use of my time rather than just following my husband around as he oogles over routers and modems.

My Alternative Life

Seating in traffic leads to some daydreaming. Specifically, what would my alternative life be?

Living in Paris, studying art history, cooking, and pastry-making. I'd be working part-time as an assistant pastry chef and living with my best friend who just so happens to be teaching French at an all boys college. She's loaded so money would not be a problem for us. We would obviously be 10 years younger - in our early 20s instead of mid-30s. We'd also find ourselves exploring the French countryside during weekends as we meet young French guys named Herve. In a nutshell, we would be free to do whatever we wanted without the familiar pressures we face from parents and relatives to settle down, get married, have kids, buy a house, and etc.

Okay, back to reality.

These alternative life scenarios sure provides some temporary (i.e., really short) escape from life's monotony.

Bride and Prejudice

As a fan of romantic comedies, I must say that the movie "Bride and Prejudice" was one of the funniest ones I have ever seen. If you're a fan of Jane Austen novels and movies, this one is a modern twist (i.e., Bollywood style) to the classic one. The actor playing Darcy in the movie looks almost like Luke Wilson - his name is Martin Henderson from New Zealand - playing opposite to an actress named Aishwarya Rai. If you enjoyed the movie called "Monsoon Wedding", this one is just as good! I really enjoyed it and got a good laugh.

Continued from Yes or No?

Given another chance at getting married, if my fiancé were to ask me to sign a pre-nup, I would be extremely worried as to how sincere or solid his feelings are towards me. And, I’d really wonder at how much he really knows me to want to live with me for the rest of his life. I'd most likely have second thoughts about our relationship as a result. I gather that a pre-nup becomes necessary when you want to be sure that your spouse is not going to run after your entire assets should you get a divorce, but then it certainly goes back to the first question, which is why do you need a pre-nup? On the other side, I can also understand why others may view it as a safety button in a marriage because nowadays people seem to rush to the wedding altar too soon. Case in point, the 4 month marriage of Jerry Maguire’s leading lady or “you had me at hello.” Both men and women that choose to marry later in life in order to pursue their careers face this problem because you never know what people are like when they get divorced – things can get ugly as in the case of Liza Minelli and David Guest whose star studded wedding celebration became a distance memory soon after the couple decided to call it quits amid allegations that Liza was a husband-beater. There are just so many examples out there that seem to indicate how important it is to know who you are marrying before taking the plunge.

Yes or No?

You are planning to marry the best guy in the world. You've got the ring to prove it, too. He's nice like Clark Kent kind of nice. You get along with all of his friends and family. Even his grandmother loves you. Everything just seems to be peachy, but suddenly, he pops the question: will you please sign the pre-nup? An article from money magazine made me think twice about this. Although for me, it's too late already 'cuz I've been hitched.

A Vegas Wedding?

The scenario is you and your long time boyfriend have been living together for more than 3 years that it already feels like your married already. Boyfriend says that it's better to just elope or have a simple civil wedding, so that you can save money for a real grand wedding down the line.

I have two main issues with this proposal:

1) How is it guaranteed that an actual wedding will happen?

2) How important is it for a woman to have a nice wedding as opposed to an elopement in Vegas or a civil wedding?

Personally, I would not want such an option because a wedding should be a special event, not one that you can postpone down the line. And, you can still have a simple yet memorable and elegant wedding with enough help from friends and family. There are many ways to creatively budget and plan for a wedding without going broke like getting married during the winter instead of summer, baking your own wedding cake, or making your own flower arrangements, favors, and wedding invitations. On the flip side, there are some people who would definitely prefer a small intimate ceremony like on a beach for their wedding - just two of you and the officiant.

Male PMS?

Ever wonder if men also suffer what we women go through every month? Here it is, it's called "Irritable Male Syndrome."

Wedding Photographs

If you were separated or divorced and were moving out, would you leave behind a life-sized photo of you and your ex? Nope. I certainly wouldn't leave it knowing that my ex didn't want it. I'd probably tear the photo in half and take my part of the photo with me. But, I guess for some very well known celebrities (i.e., Pitt and Aniston split), it is just too painful to take such a photo with them. One thing is for sure, somebody is going to make a lot of money putting this photo up for sale.

Up and down we go

I go up and down everyday on our building’s elevator. While this may seem as a mundane task, it has given me the unique opportunity to observe urban high-rise behavior. Whether you call it common courtesy or elevator etiquette, as I would like to call it, there are some people who just don’t get it. Like crossing a street and looking both ways. Take the process of entering an elevator; most people know that you are supposed to wait for the people inside to get out first before entering. But, what really irks me is when you do actually wait and then the people inside decide to get out! You end up feeling like an idiot because the guy inside moves so slowly. I call these guys the “delayed responders.” On another note, there are also those whom I’d like to call the “door shutters.” Blame it on being shy or having a ”Paxil” moment, these people purposely press on the “close door” button - knowing full well that somebody is approaching the elevator. This has happened to me so many times, but I always cherish the moment when I see their facial expression whenever I manage to catch the elevator before the doors close. Next, we have the “dumb fingers.” These people accidentally press on the wrong button, but don’t tell you that they have pressed up instead of down. Here, you end up just waiting for someone to enter without any kind of courteous response. Lastly, we have the “dead trees” – these people are the biggest idiots of elevator etiquette. You walk into the elevator and they don’t move aside so all of you can fit inside the elevator without breathing into each other’s faces!

Laughter - the best medicine

Hectic week. For some much needed amusement and laughter, I've found Atom Films - featuring short films and animation.

Opportunistic

Spent most of the Labor Day weekend doing basically everything contrary to labor. In other words, nothing. What I did find interesting on the web is the sudden proliferation of businesses announcing that a portion of your purchase will be donated to the victims of Hurricane Katrina, while there are others who just completely donate all of their sales to the victims. Lastly, there are also businesses that just make a donation without making any grand announcements to their customers. The issue, here, that bothers me a bit is that some businesses have used this tragedy to promote their sales and even making their company appear somewhat righteous in their efforts. I personally find it very distasteful to find a business that has to post a message on their website stating they are donating a portion of the sales. Why do they have to announce it? Will it really make us (i.e., consumers) into buying customers? I don’t think so. We are smarter and more cynical! Such a practice would most likely make me never want to buy from them. I think most people who are compassionate in light of this terrible event will make a donation whether it is in the form of money, clothes, etc., out of the kindness of their own heart.

Hope within tragedy

The catastrophic effects of Hurricane Katrina has caused unimaginable pain and suffering for many. Images of grief and anger from TV, newspapers, magazines, and virtually all over the web cannot fully grasp the real harshness of what the victims of the hurricane have suffered and continue to suffer. But, somwhere within the cries of help and despair, I heard about this story and realized that one has to have hope when all else has been destroyed. Even a little ounce of hope can help people through this awfully tragic time. The story of the wedding of Trenise Williams and Joseph Kirsh and how one small group of individuals banded together to help them out says it all. A little help goes a long way and should be an example for others to do the same. In the end, I hope that the kindness and generosity of humanity will prevail.

Handicap

Looking for parking space is obviously a challenge especially when you live in a metropolitan city like LA. While looking for a space at the Glendale Galleria mall today, parking was a bit of a challenge in light of the Labor Day weekend Sales. As I continue to look for a space, a couple in a silver Lexus drives up ahead of me to catch a space. Okay, what’s the catch? Well, as they were driving up to a handicapped parking spot, they placed a blue handicap sign on their dashboard, and rushed out of their car. Who was the handicapped person in the car? I’m still wondering about that to myself.

Kansas!

In most states, the legal marrying age is 18. I thought that this was applicable to all states, but as it turns out the Kansas and a few other states, including allow individuals or should I say, kids as young as 12. With such antediluvian laws still existing in America, what is most disturbing about these laws is that they pretty much fail to protect minors when an adult chooses to marry a minor as in the case of a couple from Nebraska got married in Kansas. When I say couple, the groom was 22, while the bride (pregnant at that) was only 13! What era are these legislators stuck in?

Sixteen Candles

Lazy Sunday afternoons - they are the best. Wish everyday was like that. While channel surfing yesterday, I stumbled upon the movie "Sixteen Candles" on amctv. A bit weird that I found myself watching it again considering that I've seen it so many times, but somehow I never get tired of watching it. It's like spending one afternoon as a 80s obsessed teenager stuck in the year 2005 when hip hop is all the rage, while I still prefer music from bands like Thompson Twins, Tears for Fears, or Duran Duran. Or, it must be that cute guy that Molly Ringwald ("Samantha" in the movie) had a big crush on in the movie. What was the name of that actor who played "Jake"? Hmm. Let me check right now...Okay, his name is Michael Schoeffling. I don't really know what happened to this actor. He was kind of cute!Did he have any other movies after this one?

Anyways, I particularly found the wedding scene at the church quite hilarious as Samantha's older sister (i.e., the bride) overdoses on muscle relaxant pills. Overall, my favorite scene is when Samantha walks out from the church only to find Jake waiting outside for her. What I most enjoy about this movie is the simplicity of how things appeared to be at that time wherein a crush back then was just a crush. Nothing else. I can't say much about many of the teenage movies nowadays that seem to focus more on sex like American Pie, which is still very funny, but the humor just seems to lack that innocence that most movies back then had. Times have truly changed, indeed.

Color blind

Saturday was clean up day. Isn't funny how cleaning up sometimes turns into an extended exercise where you find yourself sifting through magazines and cutting out articles, or opening up old books and reading a page or two. Among the things that were gathering dust and a whole lot of allergens were my wedding photos. I realized that my colors were uncoordinated. I never though much of it back then, but nowadays color coordination and matching is so important. Okay, what happened? Why did I have an ivory gown and yet chose periwinkle and white as my colors? It hit me that my table's linens were periwinkle, but the table overlay was white. Or, why was the cake ivory, while the invitations were white and periwinkle? I think I must have gotten so caught up in the details that nobody asked if everything matched with periwinkle! I must have been color blind, which is probably why blue jeans and a white tee are my staple weekend wear.

Ironies

A week filled with twists:

Monday
I get stuck in traffic only to get to work for a meeting that was cancelled

Tuesday
Waiter forgets my order of grilled chicken pasta. I complain. I get it at half-price.

Wednesday
The auto insurance sends me a check for the rear end. See previous post.

Thursday
I usually buy Coffeemate flavored cream in Caramel, but inadvertently get Hazelnut. Must be colorblind because the Caramel comes in an orange bottle and the Hazelnut comes in yellow. Hazenut’s not bad at all.

Friday
I am just glad that the week is over.

Whenever days like these happen, I'm thinking if the next week will be the same. While I do have a stupid dinner party to go to, I just want to stay home. My husband says that maybe it just seems worse because of PMS. PMS! No, events like these happen with or without it. They happen whether for a good reason or nothing at all.

Should I stay or should I go?

We all attend parties whether by formal or informal invitation as long as the host personally extends an invitation, which is usually several weeks or days ahead of the party. But, what happens if the invitation was made at the last minute? This is my dilemma. A phone message was left by one of my former officemates inviting me to her husband’s birthday – supposedly a surprise event for him that she’s been planning for a while. The main issue here is why are you inviting me on the Thursday before the party that is a Saturday dinner at a restaurant. I’m thinking that since it is at a fancy place that she would have sent out invitations, right? I feel like an understudy right now considering that perhaps not enough guests sent in their RSVPs and they are now short on guests. Hmm. I know I may sound like a prima dona, but I really feel the consolation prize at a raffle. Yes, it was nice of her to invite me, but she should have contacted me at least sooner, since calling me at the last minute seems a bit desperate.

Runaway runaway...

What did I say about "runaway grooms?" They're happening more often. See my previous posts about other runaways.

It would be an honor if...

An invitation to a wedding is always an honor unless you’re invited to a covert wedding op - turned drug bust. Yes, the bride and groom were undercover agents. From illegal drugs to counterfeit cigarettes, over 80 wedding “guests” were charged with smuggling such goods into the US from countries such as Thailand and China through ports in Jersey and LA. Even the FBI took extra care in planning the wedding by letting guests know that transportation would be provided to the ceremony, which was to be held on a yacht. A yacht wedding - how fancy! I wonder what kind of favors they had planned to give out? Hmm. Personalized handcuffs!

Weekends that end too soon

Fridays come too slowly; Sundays end too quickly. Right around 7pm, that blue sinking feeling creeps up - beckoning that Monday doom is back. Although the weekend was filled with a bit of fun and excitement, it really just ends too soon. The fun and excitement I'm talking about was a small Japanese tea party at my bestfriend's birthday dinner. She had lived in Japan for a while and gave us some pretty neat party favors by putting together a small bunch of Japanese tea cookies paired with green tea packets, and placed everything in a box tied in a product called an organza wrap from Bellenza.com, which offers some pretty unique wedding favors. Shelly is pretty creative and I must say that the wrap idea was quite a cool thing. Sigh, this is one weekend that I wished lasted longer.



- You can get them at Mitsuwa - a great Japanese grocery with branches also on the East Coast.



- You can get them online at Bellenza.

Bow tie vs. neck tie

Bow tie vs. neck tie. The odds of seeing a man wearing a bow tie are probably 1 in every 50, or maybe more. While ties are certainly more common than bow ties, whenever I see a man wearing a bow tie, there are several thoughts that come to mind, but namely, square, uptight, and square. Most of the guy friends I’ve asked say that they would never wear a bow tie to work because it makes them look pretentious. Someone even said that it looks too “school boyish” for them. Others indicate that it's too hard to tie a bowtie or it feels too tight on their neck. Or, is it visions of seeing DOMs in bowties with fat cigars that really makes them so unappealing.

Perhaps most men don’t like wearing a bow tie except when they have to wear a tuxedo. It might not be the fashionable thing to wear, but it may be cool and trendy if:

- the latest fashion runways start showing models in bowties
- rappers ike Snoop Dogg started wearing them in their videos
- or if Brad Pitt was caught wearing one

I’m sure bowties will be less notorious for being odd or square. Imagine that!

Eyes, ears, and nose

Fall is definitely coming. My itchy eyes, runny nose, clogged nose, and incessant sneezing have made me well aware of that. Sinus headaches – you win! Every time summer begins to end and the weather starts getting a bit cooler, I can’t explain it, but my body just knows that it does not like the change in the season. This physical response was actually worse when I used to live in the Midwest. Spring was my enemy back then, but now that I live in LA, fall is the new foe. My only true form of relief comes in the summer when the weather is hot. A strange phenomenon, but one that is short lived. That’s probably why I had chosen to have my wedding back then early in June. For three months, just as most summer vacation hits, my allergies seem to do that same thing. I just wonder at how come some people can go through life without such allergies. But, coming from a family of allergy sufferers, there’s nothing much I can do except stock up on Flonase, Claritin, and populate my home with HEPA filters. Just about the only time that I felt “normal” was during a two-week vacation in Kauai. My nose could not have been happier.

Huff puff and I'll blow your lungs away

That little stick of death. More than twenty years ago, I used to think nothing of it when the people around me used to puff from this white little stick – not more than 3-4 inches long. On Sunday gatherings as the kids (i.e., my cousins and I) played around the pool, dad and the rest of my uncles would chat over barbecue, each with their white stick – puffing away circles of white smoke. Funny how naïve one can be as a child. Little did I know that I was not only being exposed to second hand smoke, but also my mom and brothers were equal victims to this insidious object – smaller than pencil, but potent like a sword. I remained ignorant until one day I learned that smoking causes cancer and cancer kills. Yes, that day was more than 10 – 15 years, since I first remember my dad smoking. From that day forward, everyone in my immediate family tried to convince my dad to stop smoking. It was a persistent battle cry from all of my siblings. Dad, please stop smoking. To his credit, he even tried hypnosis and stop for a while. Of course, he relapsed, but he eventually decided to stop “cold turkey” by the time he was in his late 30s. Perhaps at that time, we didn’t really understand why he would smoke. Why would someone who is married with kids, would want to take something that will eventually kill him? We just didn’t understand the power of being addicted to nicotine. Every now and then when I window shop at our outdoor mall, I am puzzled at how some couples choose to smoke together. Is it because they want to die together? Okay, a bit extreme, but I often wonder if one partner started smoking first, and got the other partner addicted. Is it that misery loves company or that it’s more fun when two puff together? Perhaps it’s the latter when I consider that one of my aunts who married my dad’s brother never smoked when she was single, and only began to smoke after getting married and taking care of two kids. Nevertheless, despite having more cynicism in tow and knowledge of smoking’s harmful consequences, I ask myself: is it a question of if or when my dad gets lung cancer? I do hope that I don’t have to face that question, but understand that I must be realistic in finding the answer.

Burger, fries, and a Coke

Before married life, deciding on what to eat was a fairly simple and straightforward activity. There was virtually no need to plan on what to cook for dinner, since dinner often meant eating whatever was left over from yesterday, or just ordering a personal pan pizza. On many lazy winter days, dinner was just a plain grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup. But, since leaving singlehood and becoming a wife, dinner has transformed into worrying about what to feed two people without cooking the same damn thing over and over again. Cooking for one was easy – small portions! For two, it becomes a bit tricky because most food items at the supermarket are packaged for families not two people. When buying a 2 lb. Container of ground beef for spaghetti, you can only cook so much of it with spaghetti or hamburgers that I end up without an appetite by the time it’s time to eat. Moreover, when one comes home from work, cooking is the last thing on your mind, but nowadays, it is the first thing I think about when kicking off my shoes. Shortly after arriving home, the words: “what’s for dinner?”, inevitably comes up. On PMS days, it’s even worse. I’m left wondering whether to just call out for Chinese food, or brave the kitchen and cook up something that will keep us from starving. I’m still quite amazed at how my mom managed to cook for a family of five everyday considering that she had to wake up for work at around 5:30am. Every time I think about her, I find myself thinking how the hell am I going to do that when we start to have kids of our own. On certain occasions, a flash of inspiration comes by probably from watching Rachel Ray on the Foodtv Channel, and I cook up something that my husband actually LIKES. Comments like “everything tastes the same” become nonexistent and a simple doze of praise makes me want to cook up something special the next time unless of course, I'm too damn tired to cook and clean up after dinner!

Rear end

Who gets hit while standing still in street traffic? Street traffic! Not even freeway bumper to bumper traffic. Only in LA. After getting our bumper hit by another car on Saturday, you'd think that would be the end of our rear end woes. Nope. Our registration sticker got stolen over the night.

Our gas

Living in LA, one must have a car. Forget taking the bus because:

A) There are too many weirdos and

B) Good luck, if the bus arrives on time

Therefore, with the rising prices of gas, it's just plain ridiculous! I've had to adjust my car lifestyle a bit like conserving on the use of my air conditioning, driving out only when I really need to like going to work or shopping, and walking more. But, by far, the most uncomfortable adjustment is driving up to the pump and seeing the cash go bye-bye. Boy, it's getting to be really expensive to commute by car over here.

To add some humour to this, my husband says that maybe we should go back to using horse carriages like they do when couples want to be romantic for a wedding.

Bow wow and Meow meow

Pets. Dogs, Cats, Fish, or Birds. We all love our pets. We even choose dogs and cats to be a part of the wedding entourage. They are so much a part of our lives that to many, they are like children. Just as marriage brings pets and owners together, divorce rips a marriage with pets with a little bit more complexity, since many states treat pets as legal possesions. Often couples must decide on their own as to how to split things/pets up. As many pets take on the role of being regarded as children to many childless couples, why should a custody battle be any different if the best interests of the children should be put first? In others words, joint custody of the pets may be the best option for pooches and felines alike.

An American in Paris

Perhaps the only true things about Paris Hilton is that one, Paris is a city in France, and two, that Hilton is a chain of American hotels. As it turns out, talk of wedding plans and marriage might not be true after all. Not even the groom's father knew of the nuptial plans!

Mother mother...

When we marry, we not only marry our fiancé, but for the most part, the rest of the family. And when it comes to the one family member that seems to receive more attention than others, it is the mother-in-law, also known as MIL. Most MILs receive much notoriety especially as being a “mama’s boy.” Also, they have been known to be overbearing or nosey wherein you know they are calling up just by the fateful caller ID blinking at 8am on Saturday. But, are they really as evil and overbearing as the movies portray them. Take the movie called “Monster-in-law,” which grossly exaggerated the future mother in law of the bride. While they are viewed in such a way, some fail to recognize that they to win one’s heart is to win their family as well. Some people may argue that you’re not marrying the whole family, you’re just marrying one member of the family, but when the family is a close-knit kind, one cannot avoid having peaceful relations without being fully accepted. An MIL need not be a foe. In fact, she can be a true friend particularly when you can’t find anyone else for babysitting. While some MILs have been found to be quite generous with cooking and cleaning, they are probably the most knowledgeable person about one’ own son or daughter. With this in mind, I think they’re not all that bad. I'm sure that not everyone shares this sentiment, and may actually have nightmare stories, that continue on in their daily lives.

Where's the remote?

Traditionally, dogs have long been considered as man’s best friend. But, lately, I beg to differ for sooner or later dogs will be displaced by an electronic device commonly known as the TV remote control. While there are also other remote control devices that man uses such as the garage door opener or the air conditioner control, the TV remote control tops the list for home essentials. And with satellite TV, the remote control will undoubtedly supersede most household electronic gadgets. Available in different designs from sleek black to silver bookmark-sized “remotes”, the remote as it is popularly called is often the most misplaced item in the house. However, most women know that they typically wind up in any of these places: underneath the sofa, between sofa cushions, or under the coffee table. Ironically, one of the most common places to lose a remote is on top of the TV unit itself. Perhaps honing devices should be attached to them considering how often they get lost at home. I’m sure every wife, mother, or sister has sometime in their lives been asked: "have you seen the remote - I was just using it?"

Peace and love

PDAs. Most people have at least one or have owned one. While most people view the PDA as a pocket-sized gadget that we rely on for our appointments and tasks, there is another type of PDA that has been around far longer than this technological device. This PDA, commonly known as “public display of affection,” exists in every culture in every country. It has many forms – just in different degrees. In some countries, it is also punishable by law to show too much PDA. Admittedly, I’ve never been the “affectionate displaying” type. In high school, it was both amusing and annoying to see couples girls attached like magnets to their boyfriends, while holding hands and kissing in the hallway. Normal, yes, but I roll my eyes up thinking about that time in my life. College was a little bit better as most of the people around me where a bit more discreet in their “ways.” While some people do not mind PDA as the French do, there are some people who find it offensive, uncomfortable, or plain awkward. From a more liberal mindset, I really don’t mind, but I certainly think couples should know what is appropriate behavior in public. In the end, there’s a simple saying that sums things up: at least “it’s better to make love not war”.

The shot below taken by the famous French photographer, Robert Doisneau, is one of my fav pics of a couple kissing in public.

Ruffles and lace

When I was younger, my mother was always said that I hated wearing dresses with little ruffles on the sleeve. To this day, I still do, but it has graduated on to dresses with flowers or rosette-like accents. I'm the plain type of dress girl. NO frills, no ruffles, no lace! As you can see, I'm not a girly-girl type. If there is lace, it better be subtle and simple. You can imagine what it was like finding a bridal gown. Moreover, when it came to selecting bridesmaid dresses, the same held true. Nothng fancy nor too revealing as you normally see today. So, to celebrate my taste in fashion. I bring you the "ugly dress find" of the month. It might transform to a weekly basis, if I'm successful and diligent enough:)

A real life wedding planner

To take the stress out of wedding planning, many brides and grooms choose to hire a wedding planner. But you never expect them to be the ones walking down the aisle - unless one should fall in love with the bride or groom, while planning the wedding of their dreams. Perhaps it's best to find a planner who's too old for both the bride and groom, or maybe one who is already married. I wonder to myself. Do these things really happen like in the movie - The Wedding Planner? I was sure amused when I read this story.

Helpful tip of the day:

A word of caution to all brides and grooms planning to hire a coodinator. Be very wary of whom you choose to hire. They could be ones you say, "I do" to instead.

Husbands and Wives

And they lived happily ever after…Not! As most movie and cartoons would like you to think, weddings appear to be easier than the marriage itself. This delusional depiction often comes in the form of a prince charming coming to take a helpless damsel, and they head off to the sunset. But, when you look at the whole thing it just doesn’t happen in real life. Take for instance, the number of blogs on the web dedicated to my idiot husband or bitchy wife. A search will yield you some interesting results from happy to gloomy writers posting whatever is their mind: http://neurotic-iraqi-wife.blogspot.com/; http://goodhusband.blogspot.com/; http://a-better-wife.com/; http://silly-husband.blogspot.com/; http://husband.blogspot.com/; http://www.imarriedanidiot.com/. As I was conducting this search, the most striking aspect of this search yielded that more women post their thoughts about husband on the web than men; probably because women find the web as a major outlet for letting off steam. I also found it quite amusing that when you search for in quotes for the following in Google:

“my idiot husband”, several search results pop up - showing 1,010 results for "my idiot husband".;

however, for “my idiot wife”, surprising results show only about 49 for "my idiot wife";

lastly, for "my bitchy wife" you get , some of these results are written by women themselves, so it might not really mean anything, but it's just interesting to see what appears - only 822 for "bitchy wife".

Not in front of the kids

Quarrels, arguments, disagreements – call it whatever you like. They never quite start or end the same and certainly don’t end with a kiss and make up ending like in the movies. There are many self-help books like Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus; all aiming to provide help for understanding the opposite sex. However, little do these authors realize that men and women are from earth! Each man and woman is a different and complex creature that can only be understood on an individual basis. You don’t know a man or a woman until you have lived with them. Also, many of these counseling programs on TV like Dr. Phil only perpetuate the image that men are the problem, but sometimes, women are also to blame, which is not always depicted as such. Equally more saddening is when a couple fights in public. A scene at a restaurant says it all with the wife complaining that the husband spends too much time at work. This scenario may seem like a sad story, but it happens in a lot of marriages. What could be worse is fighting around the children. I find it truly disturbing when parents quarrel in front of kids, which includes babies. Children may not comprehend the problem, but to them it can be traumatizing.

In a nutshell, parents – don’t fight in front of the kids, find a way to work things out, and communicate when something is not right.

Find help:

The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory

True Listening Can be a Challenge

How to Resolve Conflicts -- Without Offending Anyone

Dress me up

When it comes to figuring out what to wear to a party, black is the common choice for many women wanting to appear slimmer and taller than our usual size. In the fashion world, a black dress can work wonders on a figure in more ways than we know. But, is it appropriate to wear black to a wedding or similar type of event? The vast majority of people I asked said that it would be a bad judgment in etiquette, since you’d most likely wear black to a funeral or wake, or are in mourning. I gather that it would be entirely conspicuous to be wearing a black dress at a daytime summer wedding when everyone else is wearing a lightweight summer dress or dress shirt. I suppose it may be different if the wedding was an evening event with more formality and using a wrap or a shawl to complete the outfit would be okay. Beyond this scenario, if you’re still torn about wanting to wear a dark outfit, there’s always blue or brown, but in the summer, I don’t think these colors would fly. Personally, if somebody wore black to my wedding, birthday, or other similar celebration, I wouldn't be to apt to invite them again as a guest.

Occasional digression #4

Catchy song find of the month -

Cool
by Gwen Stefani (lyrics)


It's hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life
Passes things, get more comfortable
Everything is going right

And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool
I know we're cool

We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain

Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown, oh
We have changed but we're still the same
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool
I know we're cool

Yeah, I know we're cool

And I'll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles
And now we're hanging out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we've been
I know we're cool
I know we're cool

C-cool, I know we're cool
I know we're cool

Pass the popcorn

Movies. They are the quintessential form of past time entertainment. For couples, they are an opportunity to spend some fun time together. Before getting married, the choice for movies was pretty much left in my hands. I got free rein to select the movie for every our Friday night outing. Back then (more than 10 years ago); movies were cheap before hitting $10. Our most memorable movie nights included the release of Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and Mission Impossible to name few movies both of us liked. Just as movie prices have increased over the years, so have our individual choices in movies whether it’s a DVD or movie at the theater. Take for instance, a trip to the video store where finding a movie sometimes takes just as long as the movie itself. It’s a choice between chick flicks such as British romantic comedies (e.g., Bridget Jones’ Diary, Love Actually, etc.) and guy flicks such as “action-driven or comedies with no story plot” films that include (e.g., Corky Romano, Little Nicky, etc.). As each of us makes our way into the video store with the hopes of watching a good movie, the end of the line isn’t always what it seems. It ends up with any of the following: a coin-toss, a lottery, or a mutually agreed upon film. The most ironic aspect of the experience is when you actually get to watch the movie together, and one of us falls asleep during the movie!

Nevertheless, when looking for the right movie, thank goodness that the web is filled with useful sources filled with reviews and commentaries:

Flixster
MRQE
NPR
Rotten Tomatoes
The New Yorker
Yahoo Movie

Pack rats unite

My previous post on losing wedding rings got me thinking about why we choose to acquire and collect things that hold personal and sentimental value. It becomes even more interesting as one goes from a single to a married individual because you not only come into a relationship with your own set of valuable things, but you now have to combine that with your spouse’s. Once people live together as husband and wife, I find it extremely puzzling and amusing as to how things seem to accumulate at a faster rate. When Spring comes around, the glamorous task of cleaning up transforms into a playful battle between “junk” vs. “memento” where pack rat and cleaner are adversaries in a duo to fix up the basement or attic before summer hits. Once summer arrives, the basement or attic is either clean or a stockpile of things waiting to be donated to a charity, found at a garage sale, or sold at an online auction. Even worse is seeing these things being hastily put into large black plastic bags – nameless and doomed from the beginning. Unless a compromise is reached, the loser (for the lack of a better term) must sit back and watch his or her favorite summer issue of Rolling Stone's magazine most likely recycled at their neighborhood library.

There's help, recycle or donate:

To recyle: go here

To donate: go here

Caveat emptor

Penny wise, pound foolish or just painfully wise? There are many things in life that as consumers we refuse to buy or are reluctant to buy unless the item is either on sale or available at a discount. Take clothes for school, many of us will wait for a back to school sale before heading off to the retail sunset. However, when it comes to making wedding purchases, there are some people who are using online auction places like eBay to buy everything from the wedding gown to the favors.

While I personally have not made any purchases from eBay, my husband and a few friends have bought things from eBay like computer peripherals and designer handbags. The most common comment from them is that as a buyer on eBay, you have to be extra careful about knowing who is the seller of an item, whether they have been a good or a bad seller based on their community rating. The rating and feedback system is helpful, however, the risk ultimately rests with the buyer. Among the risks involved, one must be aware of the return and exchange policies of the seller plus if the seller should obtain your credit card info, is the buyer made aware as to when the item will be shipped out and does the seller charge the card before shipping it out?

And, when it comes to buying from wedding vendors, brides and all people alike must be prudent about saving, but never sacrifice quality. After all, a wedding is a chance not only to make a good impression, but also a meaningful and lasting memory. In the end, I’d love to save a buck or two, but I’d be extra careful when buying through places like eBay. Besides that, would I want to tell my girl friends that I got my gown at eBay? Most likely not because the gown buying experience may be one of the challenging aspects of planning a wedding, but also the kind of experience you wish to share with close friends and family (e.g., mom, sister, or bestfriend). It's not only about buying, it's about the experience of sharing these memories with those we love. Buying it from eBay would just cheapen the whole thing for me. That's just me:)

Lord of a ring

Jewerly is to be worn, but is it something you wear when cooking? Specifically, when making cookie dough? There is nothing worse than watching someone dip their fingers into cookie dough with their rings still on their fingers. Most if not all of the cooks or chefs on TV do not take their rings off whether it's a wedding ring, class ring, or partner ring. It's just gross. And if you do have to take your ring off, chances are it either falls into the sink or somehwere else.

Clearly, I'm not a big fan of jewerly especially rings - I would certainly NOT mind a beautiful solitaire diamond ring from Tiffany, but I'd be too darn worried about it. What if it gets lost or stolen? What if I get kidnapped or nabbed? What if my finger gets cut off? Okay, that's a bit extreme, but worse case scenario.

Take it from a girl who actually lost her engagement ring during a snow day while attending a wedding! Yes, it was found by person thrice her age.

Do I wear my wedding ring now? Certainly not. It's tucked away in a safe where I won't lose it.



On a side note, this is an amazing story about a lost, but found wedding ring. It's really quite a remarkable story.

And, to add another lost ring story. While packaging care packages for troops in Iraq, a volunteer loses her wedding ring as it slipped off her finger.

When men turn into husbands..

Before I got married, a trip to the mall was a leisurely activity with my now-husband. But now, it seems that going to the mall means getting exactly what we need to get. For example, if we need to buy a pair of jeans, my husband knows exactly where he's going to go at the mall. A record day at the mall becomes a 30 minute run. Anything more would be considered a waste of time. A stressful event at that. You can imagine what Christmas is like. There is no Christmas shopping season because we buy our gifts right after Labor Day and then some between October and Thanksgiving. Shopping on the Net has also become an alternative we have often explored. Convenient, yes, but it takes the fun out of going from shop to shop and just looking! Perhaps I am like this because I am such a tactile person as opposed to other people who are comfortable with online shopping.

To err is human, but...

Is forgiveness something you can measure? Can it be gauged according to the degree of the offense? How does one manage to forgive when one’s trust has been betrayed? These are difficult questions that often require unique and personal interpretations. My last blog entry about Jude Law’s infidelity got me thinking about the prevalence of affairs among spouses, partners, and etc. Whether to lust or some other variable, statistics seem to indicate that roughly 20% of married men have had affairs at least once in their married lives . It’s not really that startling if you ponder life for a second. Our lives have just become so mired in the day-to-day mechanics of living (e.g., earning a living, taking care of kids and family, paying taxes, running errands, etc.).

Granted that life is hard and boy it is hard. Many marriages that fail out of infidelity are really the most tragic ones because trust has been broken. The question is how do some couples manage to move on, while others result in divorce or separation. Take my aunt-in-law for instance; after she found out that her husband was seeing their carpool partner, she decided to separate from him, despite a plea for forgiveness. There were no children involved, so it was a less complex situation. The more serious problem lies when there are children.

I don’t know whether to commend or feel sorry for men or women who choose to stay together even after an affair is discovered. Although one has decided to forgive for the sake of the marriage and family, I believe that the relationship is painfully scarred. Things may seem the same, but hidden level of resentment and pain becomes permanently embedded within the relationship. I suppose one’s capacity to forgive is what really determines this outcome. In the end, I still ask myself if forgiveness is something that can’t or can be measured in terms of the offense, especially when trust is in question.

A Wedding Gone Awry

There was a wedding in Cancun that was like a fun cartoon
where the groom turned into a broom
and the bride sailed away with her cat at her side.

There were wedding guests that got favors, but they all turned out to be traitors
where the bestman turned into a laughing herdsman
and the bridesmaids holding their flowers turned into simple showers.

There was a chocolate wedding cake, but the baker brought it to a lake
where there was another wake that nobody went to because everybody was late.

Bizarre, Weird, but True

In the world of weddings, anything is fair game.

Wedding Vows

When a bride and groom recite their vows, it is always important to say the correct name of the groom, but sometimes that does not always happen. Take a woman in India who is unsure whether she is now married to the groom or to his brother. The funny thing now is whom is she going to divorce to rectify the situation. And, if she were to remarry who is going to give away the bride?

Budget weddings

On the other side of the globe, a Romanian groom manages to get another bride in just 24 hours after his fiancé. Talk about fast. I guess he didn’t want to waste all that money considering all the invited guests! Looks like this wedding will be both an engagement and wedding party rolled into one grand celebration.

Wedding entertainment

Meanwhile, a wedding reception is normally a fun and peaceful event, however, not at this one. In Cairo, the father of the bride decided to turn the affair into a political demonstration as he began shouting anti-Mubarak slogans. You would think that he could have waited till after the first dance!

Occasional digression #3

Today. Blah. I feel like blah. It is blahday. It is one of those days when your brain and everything around you feels like blah. Nothing is appealing except sleep in a quite room. Anybody feel the same way?

What's It All About - Alfie

Jude Jude Jude. Someone’s been a bad boy.

We've all heard of people cheating on spouses and partners. However, when you cheat on your fiancé, that's a little bit too low especially, when the other woman is a nanny to your kids.

Whether guilt or conscience set in, an apology is a little bit too late when one has already proposed and began planning a wedding. Besides, what can Sienna do with an apology? She can’t shove it back at him? All she has now is a cancelled wedding.

Honestly, I didn't even know that Jude Law was married in the first place, let alone had kids! I thought that he was still a swingin' bachelor. Boy, was I wrong!? While I am not a big fan of Jude Law per say, I think his acting is not bad, BUT he's a bit too effeminate for me. I even thought that he was gay; not that being gay is bad (I have a lot of gay guy friends that are just darlings). Jude just seemed to have that kind of appeal (i.e., too handsome to be straight).

A + B = AB?

Cher went out with Sonny, Michael went out with Priscilla, and Julia went out with Lyle. While none of these marriages lasted long after the wedding, from what it appears, opposites do attract or at least some polarity seems to pull vastly different people together.

Experts claim that like-minded people tend to end up together, but somehow I find it very hard to believe. For one thing, if I married a person who knew exacly what I was thinking, since they think the same way, then nothing would probably get accomplished. We would always be coming up with same solutions, eat at the very same places, and watch the same movies. While some may argue that this weeds out a lot of miscommunication, I find that it would be just plain boring to end up with someone exactly like me. Where would all the excitement be, if we thought the same?

I forgot to mention, Sharon and Ozzy.

Dancing Queen

Fred Astaire could tap dance, Mikhael Baryshnikov could do a killer pirouette, and Ricky Martin could shake his bom bom. My husband or former fiancé specializes in no dancing. While he may occasionally exhibit a sideway jiggle, that’s about all the moves you will get. To spare ourselves the embarrassment and for the sake of our wedding guests, there was no first dance on our special day, which wasn’t so bad after all considering that more than half the guests would have been too shy to do the Macarena. While I don’t proclaim to be a virtuoso dancer myself, I have to admit that I’m a closet dancer. No, no, no. There’s no lap dancing nor exotic Brazilian dance moves going on – just plain imaginative dance moves (whatever that entails). To spare the world, I choose the bathroom or the closet as I listen to David Bowie’s famous song: “Let’s Dance.”

My stalker

All of us have that little bubble called our personal space – the invisible protective shield against the outside the world. Whether you’re in a bookstore, mall, or standing in line at the grocery, that bubble is always around you.

While browsing at the Glendale Border’s bookstore last night with my husband, I went over to the English literature section – just lookin’ around for something interesting. A little signal went on in my brain telling me that somehow somebody or something was watching me. I look around nonchalantly and I began to notice this guy – probably in his mid to late 30s, nerdy-looking, wearing a gray cotton shirt, white shorts, and a white cap started staring at me and smiling from the bench where he was seating. You could say it was about a 5 to 8 feet distance between us. For a second, I thought perhaps he’s focusing on somebody else, so I make nothing of it and ignore it.

Minutes later, I end up in the cooking section, and he’s right there! I turn my back and he’s like right behind me (excuse, the Valley-girl talk). Now, I’m thinking sexual predator/female stalker/weirdo is following me in a bookstore – what did I do or wear to attract such unwanted attention?

Guess what he says when he’s right across from me? He smilingly asks, “is there anything good here?” In my mind, I’m saying “everything was good up until you came and freaked me out – you fu***&&* weirdo!” My mommy told me when I was young to never talk to strangers, and I’m not about to do that right at this very moment! Get the hell out of my way! Seriously, I am just freaked out right now and my heart is flip-flopping and I’m looking around the store for my husband.

Creepy. Yes. Am I flattered or freaked out? Hell, of course, I’m freaked out. Would I have been flattered if he looked anything different and it were to happen in a different setting like a college-bookstore, and the guy looked like a Johnny Depp, or Keanu Reeves, perhaps that would have been different. I left the bookstore thinking that night about one thing: even though I was wearing a wedding ring, dressed like crap, wore no makeup, and had completely limp hair, what attracted that weirdo to me left me puzzled and annoyed at the same time.

The latest on Hilton's nuptial plans

In simple terms, "no" is the answer she received. Looks like Paris will have to settle for another wedding venue, despite begging Prince Charles for a change of heart.

5 minute assessment of Dr. Phil

Why 5 minutes? That's all he really deserves!

A boring Friday night plus utter restlessness lends itself to mindless channel surfing. Amidst the continuous action of jumping from channel to channel, I land on an episode of Dr. Phil. In his usual way, he provides "advice" in the manner of a psyhologist turned celebrity talk show host. For this episode, the couple he was counseling had a "major" problem, though one that seemed typical of most marriages. Husband goes out with friends, while wife stays home - living in silent desperation and hoping that one day her husband would notice just how much work she is doing as he goes out and have fun. Dr. Phil reprimands the husband using his most effective tactics: mainly condescension and public humiliation. What surprises me the most is why do these couples subject themselves to the public for such private issues, which are really readily solved by simple and open communication between the two. Granted that there is some money involved for appearing on the show, but c'mon is it really necessary. There are countless other strategies to solve marriage problems such as simple and civil conversation. In the end, do these couples realize that by the time they decide to go on a show such as Dr. Phil, exposing one's dirty laundry to the world pretty much spells doom for the relationship.

Plump and juicy

Stay together, grow old together, get fat together? I've pretty much managed to weigh the same all my life (i.e., from college till now), but now that I'm pushing into the 30 and above club - I think my metabolism is slowly acting like it wants to be in Hawaii. It's like it wants a slower pace of life - downing pina coladas all the time. While I've tried to enjoy food and still watch what I eat, I'm afraid that in 10 years, I probably will not be able to fit into my wedding gown anymore. A close friend of mine once said the I need to watch out for creeping weight (e.g., if you gain a pound every year - in 30 years you'll be 30 lbs. heavier). Scary thought! Even worse. When I see thin married women with kids, I often wonder if that's really natural or are these women just really diligent at keep fit? Though I am hardly a waif, but neither zaftig, I noticed that through the years, once people get married, that husbands and wives seem to expand at a parallel pace. It's been rare for me to see one spouse stay thin, while the other expands. In the end, I guess it does not really matter whether I gain a pound, or may be two times five more as long as I can stay healthy and live long - happily married at that:)

On a side note, my fav foods are:

sushi, thin-crust pizza with just the right amount of pepperoni, Mcflurries (yeah, they're really fattening), and of course, Godiva chocolate (if you're going to eat chocolate, it might as well be worth the calories!), Cape cod vinegar chips

You Are Rocky Road Ice Cream

Unpredictable and wild, you know how to have fun. You're also a trendsetter who takes risks with new things. You know about the latest and greatest - and may have invented it. You are most compatible with vanilla ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

The hose

Panty hose in the summer – an oxymoronic statement, but one that admittedly deserves attention. I vividly remember that my own wedding was a summer engagement overlooking a beach. While I had romantic visions of walking down the aisle, my own idealistic ways gave way to more than one impractical decision. Though I wore a gown that was fit for the hot and humid day, I didn’t take into account at how ridiculously uncomfortable wearing panty hose is when wearing a wedding gown. For vanity’s sake, it was one of those control top hose that make you appear to have shed pounds even though you have not excercised for ages. Believe me, I advise all women: do not wear panty hose in the summer unless you have a truly good reason!

Is that a habit?

There are habits. Good and Bad. Problem is most of us tend to notice the bad as the good ones go unnoticed. Regardless of the time spent living together, why is it that behind a peaceful coexistence, that every now and then, there seems to be a silent battle of tolerating little annoyances in the form of bad habits. This applies to both men and women - be it a fiancé, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, or partner. Granted they are only bad because one thinks they are bad, but in reality it could just be a normal habit as opposed to a bad one.

A typical scenario in my household used to be the toothpaste tube. Every now and then, squeezing it from the center instead of the top of the tube is branded as a bad habit. Of course, this was easily taken care of by innovative product design in the form of toothpaste dispensers typically made specifically for kids, but usable by adults, as well. Or, another scenario is the toilet paper dispenser. Normally, changing a roll is a mindless task that one often forgets the minute it’s changed. However, what happens when one should forget to change it? It becomes a big deal! An annoying one! Sympathizers would say that these lingering bad habits might be due to sheer absent-mindedness not some vile and evil intention to annoy another person. But, in actuality, aren't annoyingly bad habits that pop up every now and then in the home, just a part of living together? They don't really go away - we just learn to tolerate and sometimes even forget that they are annoying in the first place.

Till death do us part....

How would you feel if for the past 50 years, the person with whom you’ve been married to were to die of cancer or any other disease? It is certainly a difficult question for me to answer. After visiting my grandfather’s sister-in-law last weekend, this question kept nagging at me, since her husband had just passed away 4 months ago of cancer. She didn’t look too well, at all, which is understandable, but it indicated to me at how intertwined their lives had become. They were doctors and had practiced medicine at their own clinic. It’s almost like a symbiosis of two beings wherein once one dies, the other soon follows. Now living as a widower with her children, I can’t help, but wonder at how much she must miss him. She has a picture of him in the living room with a glass vase of a dozen roses. It also seemed that she didn’t move any of her husband’s stuff out. This whole experience made me think about what it would feel like to suddenly be alone! I know that you must face reality, but when faced with that situation, all rationality seems to go out the door and emotions kick in.

You're Invited

Would you invite your ex-husband to your wedding? Evidently, reports say that Tom Cruise would like Nicole Kidman to attend his wedding. I understand that he wants to show his children a good example, but given the circumstances, it would be plain awkward for Nicole to accept an invitation. For whatever reason people divorce or split in the first place, I would find it extremely uncomfortable to be attending my ex's wedding, be it a boyfriend or husband, or have times changed that much already?

Cash anyone?

While waiting in line to return a pair socks at Target, there was couple with a list of items with them together with two full carts of what looked like appliances and other household items. At first, it appeared as if they had made some bad choices and simply wanted to return the goods and get their money back. However, looking at them a little bit more closely revealed that they were actually returning their wedding gifts back to Target. Wise or foolishly ungrateful? Looking back at my own gifts, in my storage room still sits that quad toaster and microwave oven that I’ve never opened and used. For all the gifts that we received on our wedding day, it may sound crazy, but it seemed that cash gifts were the ones that I really got appreciated – if you know what I mean. Beyond the china and silverware, I must say that if it were I standing in line to return those gifts for cash, then that would not be so bad at all!

Meet Jan and Hank

Recent attacks in the UK

While I normally blog about weddings and marriages, I can't help, but also express a deep sympathy for the victims of the recent bomb explosions in London. My thoughts and prayers go to them and their families. It makes me realize that it's only a matter of time before we see something as malevolent happen in our own country. Everyone keep safe and be careful!

From princess to mrs.

The sudden obsession with royalty and weddings in my blog is purely out of ordinary boredom. Being a commoner just feels so much better when you’re an outsider and you don’t have to content with all that “royaltyism.” From my previous post about Monaco’s Prince Albert, today we turn to Japan where female members of the royalty are always on the losing end. Take Masako for instance, she’s probably suffering from depression as the pressure to produce an heir continues to loom. Poor gal – it’s not her fault! On another note, the daughter of the Emperor, Princess Sayako is reportedly getting married to Yoshiki Kuroda who works as an urban planner. Traditionally, members of the monarchy do not attend weddings of any female family member, but that appears to be changing as the Emperor and Empress plan to attend their daughter’s wedding this coming November. While they are planning to be guests at the wedding, as you would expect of any parent, one thing that still does not change is the stripping of Princess Sayako’s title. In Japan, the daughter of an emperor automatically becomes a commoner once she gets married!

Love child

When you're part of royalty, there are certain responsibilities that come with having a prestigious title. Whether princess or prince, one is expected to marry well, have a royal wedding, invite foreign dignataries, and produce an heir to the throne. Should one marry within the same social circle brings about much praise. We all know that Prince Charles married Camilla as countless other members of the royalty have married commoners (i.e., ordinary people without titles except maybe mr. or miss). But, when a member of a royal family has a love child with a French stewardess, one cannot help, but ooh and aah at the rumor. More so when the rumor is actually for real.

Makeover madness

Beyond my wedding day, I cannot remember the last time I had seriously paid any attention to my makeup and hair. Funny that although it was nearly two years ago, I still vividly remember at how meticulous I was towards achieving that perfect wedding look. The kind of look you see posted on the latest issue of Instyle Weddings or Brides’ mag. The look you want to capture for keeping your photos – a true admission of vanity indeed. In retrospect, the days leading up to that special day felt more like reenacting my prom night minus the zealousness and teenage-like giddiness that characterizes girls at that age. It’s equally more amusing now when I gawk at my wedding photos every time I want to be reminded of how old I am now or how much I have changed – that is to say, I no longer wear any makeup at all. I fear that post-wedding life has made me into somewhat of a frumpy pale chick. Kind of like those women you see on Oprah’s makeover episodes. Is their any help in sight for women whose hectic lives have been so quickly transformed soon after their nuptials? Is a simple lip gloss (i.e., actually Chapstick) the only cosmetic device left for me? Am I not still as beautiful as I was on my wedding day? As my husband would say, did you get a black eye or are you wearing eye shadow?

From Garter to Barter

The Garter Toss

Many brides still choose to have this tradition at their weddings. Its roots go back to the medieval days when guests would tear a piece of the bride's dress as a token of good luck. In lieu of being stripped completely, it is said that the bride would give off part of her stockings and garters - throwing them to the guests. I opted to forego this whole tacky experience, but my cousin had an interesting way of handling the whole ritual. Instead of having the garter placed on her leg, she had the recipient of the bouquet toss as the "lucky" person to receive the garter. Funny thing is that the person who caught the bouquet wasn't exactly dressed for it (i.e., the putting of the garter).

Long live the Queen

Money can buy anything except class, but if Paris Hilton should have her way, a "royal" wedding at St. Paul's Cathedral, Westminster Abbey or Windsor Castle would be a dream come true. The only problem is that these places are only open to royals. That is, members of the royal family in England. Not Spain, not Brunei, nor any other country, including the US. It is said that Paris Hilton has made a special request to Buckingham Palace. In a letter to Prince Charles, Paris has asked for special permission to hold a wedding at those places sometime in the winter. She does make a good case, though, based on two accounts. One, that she is somewhat like American royalty, and two, that she is marrying a Greek, similar to the Queen and Prince Phillip – she married a Greek, too. England - with its romantic castles and royal charm would certainly be the perfect backdrop to a wintertime wedding extravaganza! Would the Queen approve of such a celebration? We all know what her answer will be, but does Paris?

Meanwhile, while Paris is planning her royal wedding, some less popular celebrity wedding news include the recent Caribbean wedding of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner - I'm just glad that Ben got to his senses. Wonder what happened to that whopper Harry Winston engagement ring that J. Lo got? While not as exotic, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are said to be planning a Scientology service next August at their LA headquarters.

Fourth of July Dream

This fourth of July weekend, we will be celebrating our first wedding anniversary. I will be spending a relaxing weekend with my perfect husband at our beautiful garden villa overlooking Lake Cuomo.

This is dream....Only a dream...

Checklists

Checklists. Ah. They are grocery checklists, task checklists, and wedding checklists. Up until yesterday, I had never heard of a “breakup checklist.” Sounds hilarious at first, but evidently in the UK, there is a website dedicated to helping cohabiting couples understand their rights. In a nation with about 25% of unmarried adults living together, it’s really quite intriguing as the website helps dispel the myth of common law marriage. I looked over this checklist and actually found it to be quite practical especially as more and more of my own friends have opted to live together even more before the wedding bells start ringing. Is this kind of arrangement healthy for the relationship? I really wonder how does cohabiting impact a couple’s chances of eventually tying the knot. Judging from my own experience and observations, choosing to cohabit should really be dealt with on a case-by-case basis, since all couples are different. For some, the mere idea of living together would come not only as a shock to them, but more so to their families as being socially unacceptable. In an age where more people want to “try before they buy,” though, I believe that we should see cohabiting increase over the years.

Now, the question is, would I want my daughter or son living together before they get married? That’s a tough one…

Love has no limits

It's never too late to find your one true love. Even at the age of 90! Assuming that one actually reaches the age, of course. Lucky for Raymond Robson, 90, and Faye Webber, 96, who after a brief courtship got married in Berkshire, England. Personally, I don't know if I would still have the inertia to go through the whole courtship and dating thing at that age.

Occasional digression #2

My aunt recently sent me this joke over email. It's so funny. Got to share it with fellow bloggers! Hope you guys have a good laugh:)

Here it is:

Roses & Hanging Baskets

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her
date with this see-through blouse on and no bra.
Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not
to dare go out like that!

The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are
modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!"
and out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes down stairs, and
the grandmother is sitting there with no top on.

The teenager wants to die. She explains to her
grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just
not appropriate...

The grandmother says, "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you
can show off your rose buds, then I can display my
hanging baskets.

Happy Gardening. (This is too funny not to share)