Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Not in front of the kids

Quarrels, arguments, disagreements – call it whatever you like. They never quite start or end the same and certainly don’t end with a kiss and make up ending like in the movies. There are many self-help books like Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus; all aiming to provide help for understanding the opposite sex. However, little do these authors realize that men and women are from earth! Each man and woman is a different and complex creature that can only be understood on an individual basis. You don’t know a man or a woman until you have lived with them. Also, many of these counseling programs on TV like Dr. Phil only perpetuate the image that men are the problem, but sometimes, women are also to blame, which is not always depicted as such. Equally more saddening is when a couple fights in public. A scene at a restaurant says it all with the wife complaining that the husband spends too much time at work. This scenario may seem like a sad story, but it happens in a lot of marriages. What could be worse is fighting around the children. I find it truly disturbing when parents quarrel in front of kids, which includes babies. Children may not comprehend the problem, but to them it can be traumatizing.

In a nutshell, parents – don’t fight in front of the kids, find a way to work things out, and communicate when something is not right.

Find help:

The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory

True Listening Can be a Challenge

How to Resolve Conflicts -- Without Offending Anyone


Claire said...

What a true post. I completely agree about not arguing in front of kids, although I do think it is healthy for them to see 'normal' bickering. Just as bad as arguing all the time is giving them the impression that marriage/relationships are perfect because even people truly in love and happy bicker from time to time.

Somewhere in there is some middle ground that's a pretty good place to be!

Bill said...

A second rule.. "Don't go to bed angry"

Work it out before hand, whatever it takes!!